Banish meltdowns and drama


and get them to stop doing THAT THING so you can actually enjoy family life!

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Surely Fatherhood 
Shouldn't Be This Hard?

Bedtime just took 4 hours again and you’re still not convinced they’re asleep. Perhaps your child won’t eat anything but white starch. Or you have a preteen who’s getting lost in video games and snapchat. 

And why is it that your cherub behaves beautifully at school and transforms into a monster at home? You are the one facing tooth-brushing meltdowns, babysitter biting, visitations from the night banshee, sibling spitathons... 

Secretly, you wish you could just stay at work rather than face another weekend with your kids

Months in and out of lockdown has done nothing to lighten the load - if anything, issues that were lurking in the background have come out into the spotlight. 

Whatever specific challenges you’re facing in your parenting, you are tired of it feeling so hard, worried how your kids are going to turn out if this carries on and you’re ready for someone - ANYONE - to lighten your load

“My little girl wouldn’t leave the house without us dragging her out kicking and screaming, it was controlling our lives and now she goes and plays outside.”

“Things are really different. I don’t feel so panicked and actually I can get through this. Things have really shifted for my eldest daughter and I think she feels more loved.”

Signs You Need This

  • You’re exhausted/burned out

  • You find yourself shouting more than you want

  • You find it hard to set boundaries then are suddenly too strict

  • Giving in and placating instead of dealing with the problem issue

  • Avoiding playing/spending time with kids or not enjoying the time you do spend

  • Numbing out/distracting with work, alcohol, internet

  • Feeling helpless in the face of your child’s behaviour or struggle

“The difference between me at the beginning of this course and me now is NIGHT and DAY!”

“This course has been unbelievable, life changing. I wish everyone would have the chance to do this”

How do you Wish Being a Dad Could Be?

It’s the simple things that make the biggest difference - like the fact that you get enough sleep. Or that you and your co-parent aren’t endlessly arguing about how to parent.

You even have energy left at the end of the day for the things you love. Or to just enjoy being a family. Who knew?!

Imagine knowing that you can leave the house without someone crying. Or your kids brush their hair or do their homework without you even asking.

Better still, you have actual strategies in your back pocket for your kid’s trickiest behaviour. And they work!

“This course has has such a profound influence on me. I found it through desperation...  All the things that were wrong I now feel the opposite about.

It’s changed my view of the world. It’s built bridges... It’s enabled me to crack my little safe shell and start growing into the person I want to be.

It’s brought me to real, unconditional love and my daughter is blossoming – she’s singing and dancing and she tells me she loves me.”

Enter: The Parenting Starter Class for Dads

This 10-week online class is a revolutionary, cutting-edge, progressive parenting paradigm designed to help you tap into the power of connection in profound ways.

Meeting with Tom and up to 6 other dads in a men-only* space each week, you’ll see your parenting struggles through new eyes and restore your kids to be the sweet, smart, loving beings they really are.

Re-establish laughter and build an atmosphere of respect and co-operation in your family through a trauma-informed, therapeutic parenting approach that sits in line with current neuroscience.


*All who identify as male welcome.

What our Relieved Fathers are Saying


"The whole thing has been life changing and I can’t thank you enough.

I’m feeling so much more connected to my son and it has changed everything. I can’t believe it!

I’m on a high, It’s been SUCH a shift."

Single Dad, Birmingham, UK


“With his warmth, intelligence, and humor, Tom has a remarkable ability to create a space where parents like me feel safe from judgment.

I always feel like I can let my guard down and really tell it like it is. It has been such a pleasure working with him."

Father of one, Seattle, USA


"I was at my wits end. I was trying so hard and it was a confusing mess. It helped instantly. You gave me capacity to deal with it all.

I’m onto a winner with this. It helps me hugely... and... this is really good for my kids."

Single Dad, Frome, UK

Haul your exhausted papa ass to this course and you'll

  • Confidently know when and how to set clear, warm boundaries so you can genuinely enjoy your kids again.
  • Get the input you deserve so that you are no longer alone with the intense and relentless responsibilities of being a parent.
  • Learn the magic words to say when your child is overwrought so that they are able to calm down and co-operate.
  • Understand how parenting impacts you so you can begin to shift those automatic parenting behaviours you really wish you didn’t have.
  • Discover that effective parenting can even be playful and fun so you can tackle the picky-eating / never-sleeping / rabid-biting / aggression / clinginess with confidence.
  • Set yourself up to be the best dad you can be so you can create a better life for your entire family.


Upcoming Starter Class dates

6 October - 8 December 2021


Bookings close midnight UK on Monday 4th October

What You Get

  • Online Self-study Videos: available to you for 6 months
  • 6 Modules: presented and explored over the 10-week programme, including an Orientation week, 2 Integration weeks and a Closing & Celebration week
  • 10 weekly Huddles: Group Q&A Zoom Calls - mixed mothers and fathers - hosted by Roma, Tom & team) Wednesdays @ 11am (UK) - 60 mins
  • 10 weekly Dad Pod calls: your small group of 6 men, hosted by Tom Anderson, for individual support Wednesdays @ 12.15pm or Thursdays @ 8.00pm (UK) - 60 mins
  • Online community: other fathers like you - the Dad Cave - and / or the wider Parent Sanctuary



Pay in full

Join us

Individual Payment Plan

3 x £250

3 monthly payments, total £750

Join us



Book together as parents of the same children or 1 household

Join us

COUPLE Payment Plan

3 x £410

3 monthly payments, total £1230

Join us
Sign up as a Couple for a reduced rate!

Female partners / co-parents can join Roma's parallel mixed-gender class. More info

I get it: you’re bombarded


So many options.

What do you choose?

Play therapy, martial arts, child psychotherapist, a CAMHS referral? How can you know what will actually work for your family?

Can a 10-week course possibly solve EVERYTHING?!


I’m so confident that I can help you that I offer an

100% Moneyback Guarantee


You need to attend all the calls, watch the videos and do the homework. If you give everything we throw at you a fair go and you HAVEN’T made noticeable progress I’ll happily give you a 100% refund.

In five years, only one person has asked.

More About This Approach

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Here's what we'll do...

The Huddle

Group Q&A Calls

This is where we gather on a live call to integrate the insights experientially in a large, mixed group and also interact in smaller groups with one or two other parents just like you. There’s something super powerful about realising you are not alone with any of this: when you get to ask your burning questions at the end you’ll be amazed how many others share the same issues. Wednesdays @ 11am (UK) for 60 mins

The Dad Pod

Small Group Support Calls

You probably don’t realise it but this is what you’ve been waiting for: an experienced facilitator (Tom) giving you individual attention for your particular family’s issues and 6 pairs of kind ears ready to listen to your fears, frustrations and concerns. You’re gonna wonder how you ever survived life without this kind of magic - or these kind men. (Read more in the FAQ below, 'How do Dad Pods work?') 
Wednesdays @ 12.15pm (UK) - 60 mins (following on after the Huddle, with time for a cuppa in between)  OR  Thursdays @ 8.00pm (UK) - 60 mins

The Skinny

Online Self-Study Videos

Get ready to scrape your jaw off the floor (along with the jam and toast) as the “Aha!” moments from the Founder of Hand in Hand Parenting, Patty Wipfler land thick and fast. You’re gonna get so hooked on this lady’s illuminating videos, you’ll be watching it on the loo, on the bus, while washing up. You’ll find the time, we promise. Approx 70 mins per week

The Family Lab

Learning on the Job

Yep, you’ll be experimenting with new practical tools from day one. You’re gonna try stuff out and come back and tell us what worked (Hallelujah!) and get tips and tweaks if it didn’t go quite to plan. You’ll remember how to play and have a lot of fun - and realise that this is how parenting can be. For keeps! Approx 30 mins per week

The Dad Cave

Private Online Community

You get access to the community of fathers who are also taking this course. This will be hosted in a private Facebook group. Apart from other things, this is where you get to hang out and chat, probably make lifelong friends and, best of all, share your wins! You're also welcome to join the wider Parent Sanctuary group.

Tom's Story

Tom found Hand in Hand while listening to teleseminars and podcasts on his commute to work and discovered new things about himself and his parenting:

"I was terrible at setting limits – my frustrated partner and my mother-in-law were encouraging me to set boundaries with the children but something just didn’t feel right in it for me – I couldn’t work out what…

Listening to Patty Wipfler was like an epiphany realise that setting limits didn’t need to be about being harsh or angry or about having ‘power over’. Once I had connected the brain science to understand that limits were vital and specifically could help my daughter to think well again – I realised I could be on her side by helping her express her upsets fully."

About Tom

Tom is a Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor and works as a Family Case Worker for Dandelion Time, a therapeutic charity. He supports families of children who are having difficult experiences to discover new and positive paths in life. 

Tom had the opportunity to have 5 months paternity leave with his first daughter which set off his passion for learning and growing as a parent. He now shares the parenting and working equally, living with his partner and two daughters, aged 8 and 10, in Forest Row, UK.

Passionate about supporting parents and care-givers as the experts in their own families, Tom has also been involved with the Mankind Project, supporting men in peer groups to connect with themselves and find growth in their lives and relationships.

Connect with Tom on FB

Roma's Story

In this video I speak about how isolated, desperate and ashamed I felt with a violent, self-harming and constantly triggered and anxious young child.

I was doing my best to hold it together through willpower but became so stressed I started losing it at my child. And where I needed extra understanding and support from family and friends I experienced judgment and avoidance.

Nothing was helping. Not paediatricians, not clearing geopathic stress and nothing in between! Scouring the internet for answers, I found Hand In Hand and began the journey towards reclaiming my child and our lives.

My mission is to share this with other struggling parents. There IS hope. Life can be wonderful again!

More about Roma

Your Questions Answered

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Roma's work has been featured in

The Practising Midwife
Juno Magazine
The Embodiment Conference
The Arrigo Programme
Huffington Post
Elephant Journal
Fresh Start Family
Real Familiies